Is Jesus serious when he says I must love him more than I love my father or mother, my brother or sister? At first glance, this seems bizarre, even extreme.
The cost of discipleship is high. Being a disciple of Jesus takes discipline. Jesus wants His twelve disciples, and us, to understand that God must be the priority in our lives. And that requires discipline.
If we make God the priority in our lives, then all our other relationships fall into proper order. Our spouse, our children, and our grandchildren become priorities. Our neighbors and our community become a priority. Our priorities won’t be the 49ers or the Raiders, our social media profile, the latest trend in fashion or any of our addictions.
Jesus’ words are startling, harsh and uncompromising. “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
The demands Jesus places upon His followers are extreme. Christianity is not just a one-hour worship service on the weekend. Jesus does not want followers who merely admire Him. Jesus wants followers who have a personal relationship with Him.
If being a disciple is easy for you, you are doing it wrong. This is what C.S. Lewis called “watered-down” Christianity. While “watered-down” discipleship is much easier to swallow, it is not what Christ calls us to live. Jesus is not a therapist who removes all suffering and pain, nor is He a vending machine that dispenses grace like comfort food.
Discipleship is not for cowards. It is not for the lazy, the easily discouraged or the thin-skinned.
Christ makes it clear in today’s gospel that He is not to be second or third place in our lives. He is to be first and central. This is not easy. As Jesus says, “…whoever does not take up his cross and follow after me, is not worthy of me.”
Not only must we take up our own cross if we are to be disciples of Christ, but we must also help others carry theirs.
We help others carry their crosses by offering something as simple as a cup of cold water. “And whoever gives only a cup of cold water to these little ones to drink because the little one is a disciple – amen, I say to you, he will surely not lose his reward.” When Jesus refers to “the little ones,” He is speaking of those who are in need, the most vulnerable and those who have no advocate. Jesus teaches us to be hospitable and welcoming to everyone, all the time.
When I hiked the Camino de Santiago, I came upon a small rustic house with a sign that read, “Help yourself to a cool cup of fresh spring water. This is safe to drink.” An elderly couple assisted the pilgrims. When I asked them why they did this, the husband replied, “We are too poor to give money to charity, but we have this well with an abundance of cold water to share.”
The Russian author Leo Tolstoy once wrote a story about a simple shoemaker walking home who encountered a poor homeless man shivering in the cold.
Moved by compassion, the shoemaker invited him into his home. His wife was not pleased. The man smelled of urine and was filthy, and she complained about his condition and the cost of feeding another mouth. As she continued to complain, the stranger grew smaller and smaller with each unkind word. But when she finally offered him food, he began to grow, the smell disappeared and his dirty clothes became clean. Tolstoy concludes the story by revealing that the poor man was an angel in human form, able to live only in an atmosphere of kindness and love.
The cost of discipleship includes discipline, but it also includes hospitality and welcome. We are called to serve, not to be served. Showing kindness to all is part of being a disciple.
Being a disciple of Jesus does come at a high cost. There is no such thing as cheap grace or cutting corners. If we put Christ first, we will necessarily love father and mother, spouse and children, and brother and sister more deeply and more faithfully.
If we follow Christ, we will carry the weight of our own crosses and help carry the crosses of others. If we commit ourselves to Christ, we will learn to detach from our possessions.
Jesus can’t be accused of using a “soft sell” when it comes to discipleship. The cost is everything: family, comfort and possessions. To be a disciple of Christ requires both discipline and compassion.
So, the question for each of us is: What do I need to change in my life to make sure Christ is truly my priority?
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