FEAST OF THE HOLY FAMILY

It is our tradition as Catholic Christians to continue the joy of celebrating the birth of Jesus for twelve days after Christmas. So, I wish you and your family the blessings of Christ’s Peace throughout this Christmas Season and for the upcoming New Year.

True or false? Our parents and family are normally the first persons where values and virtues are cultivated. True. In reality, we reflect our family upbringing for better or worse.  

In a rare personal interview, granted shortly before her death, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis remarked, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do matters that much.” For a woman whose wealth, education, background and connections could have assured her a prestigious position of power in whatever field she chose, her statement may seem surprising. However, despite unlimited possibilities, she was convinced that family was ultimately the most important entity in her life.

I am sure Mary and Joseph would agree with Jacqueline Kennedy even though raising children in the time of Jesus was much different from raising children today. Raising children in any culture has never been easy, but it would have been especially difficult in the time of Jesus.

They didn’t have any of the modern conveniences of today. We complain about heating and electric bills, but they had no furnaces or electricity. Imagine no computers or cell phones or microwaves or modern appliances. And, not even any fast-food take-out places.  

Remember too, the Holy Family was materially poor, oppressed and often discriminated against. Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable with Joseph as the midwife. Together, they were forced to flee to Egypt for safety because of King Herod’s decree to murder every boy less than two years old. They were oppressed by the Roman military because they were Jewish. 

When traveling at the time of Jesus, it wasn’t by SUV or a plush RV. Instead, they walked everywhere. When they travelled long distances, they were in large groups for reasons of security. The men walked with the men and the women with the women. 

Children twelve and under could walk with either a group of women or a group of men. When the Holy Family traveled from their home in Nazareth to Jerusalem, along with other families from Nazareth for the Feast of the Passover, it was about an 85-mile journey. Jesus probably walked one day with Joseph, and then another day with Mary, and the third day he may have divided up his time. It would have taken them three days to get to Jerusalem. 

By Jewish standards and customs at the time of Jesus, when a boy turned twelve, he was officially considered an adult. He would have reached the age of maturity. It was mandatory by Jewish Law for a twelve-year-old to go to the temple to celebrate Passover, the feast that commemorates the deliverance of the Jewish people from slavery by the Egyptians. Once the family celebrated the Passover, they returned to their home in Nazareth.

It seems that Jesus was irresponsible in not telling his parents that he was going to stay at the temple in Jerusalem.

As they traveled on that first day, Mary thought Jesus was with Joseph and Joseph thought Jesus was with Mary. Mary and Joseph didn’t realize that Jesus wasn’t with either of them until they were a full day’s walk out of Jerusalem.

Luke doesn’t record the dialogue between Mary and Joseph on their way back to Jerusalem to find Jesus, but I can just imagine it would be peppered with words that showed their anxiousness, tension, confusion and disappointment!

It was on the third day that Joseph and Mary finally found Jesus. Where did they find him? They found him in the temple. What was Jesus doing? Jesus was listening to the teachers and asking them insightful questions.

Mary and Joseph evidently taught Jesus well, as the temple teachers were amazed at the depth of this 12-year-old boy’s understanding of the scriptures. In the time of Jesus, it was customary for children to be home-schooled. His questions showed he had learned a great deal about the scriptures from his parents, Mary and Joseph.

Luke describes Mary and Joseph’s reaction to finding him among the teachers in the temple as being “astonished.” So, it is interesting to think that Jesus “got in trouble” with his parents. Once Mary sees Jesus is safe, her motherly instinct takes over. “Why did you do this to us?” 

I think that Mary and Joseph faced the difficult discovery that Jesus was discovering his own path in life. He was asserting his independence. 

This is a real story of family conflict. All parents, sooner or later, are confronted with the fact that their children will discover their own path in life. No matter what the parents might hope, their children will mature and will make their own decisions. This is the mystery of family life. Children will become what they want to be; sometimes it is what the parents hope for and other times it isn’t what was expected.

Mary is puzzled by Jesus’s answer. His response sounds like he is talking back to his mother. This is where we hear Jesus’s first recorded words in Luke’s Gospel when He responds, “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” 

Luke records a great insight into family life. It is the moment when the parents, Joseph and Mary, realize they do not understand their child. I wonder if one of the greatest trials of a parent is getting through the stage when they just do not seem to understand their child. You have raised them the best you could but find yourself second-guessing and asking, “What did I do wrong?”

In Mary’s case, she has been desperately trying to understand and make sense of everything that is happening. First, there was Gabriel’s announcement that she would “conceive a child by the Holy Spirit.” Then, her cousin, Elizabeth’s greeting, “Blessed are you among women,” followed by Simeon’s prophecies, that “a sword would pierce her heart” and her “son would be a sign of contradictions.” 

This feast of the Holy Family invites us to celebrate our relationship with those we love most deeply. The greatest gift we can give to any family member is to respect and nurture their freedom so they can become all that God has created them to be.